I love to hate Anthropologie furniture. In particular, the way they stage it for their website. There’s this gross fantasy they’ve created of an art student who can afford to spend thousands of dollars on a paint-splattered flea market find. It’s like all their customers are aspiring to be Charlotte in Tiny Furniture (a loft-dwelling trust fund dilettante).
They’ve gone off the deep end with the juxtaposition. You know those fashion editorials every fall where models lasagned in Prada swing around street signs in Red Hook? It’s like that, but on acid. The settings are more deteriorated and the designs are more design-y. It’s like shopping from deep within Fuck Your Noguchi Coffee Table.
If you choose to purchase a piece of Anthropologie furniture, it will only really look right in one of three settings:
1. An alternative gallery space six weeks from opening
2. An urban cabin with faulty electrical wiring
3. A crumbling Southern plantation (soon to be deemed “the new loft” by the NYTimes)
Let’s take a stroll through the Anthropologie furniture section together. What’s for sale today?
zachary quinto is great because theres two sides of him.
the man who is known as best dressed look
then you have the wats going on look.
suave well-dressed motherfucker
Holy mother of…
can i have four chicken nuggets
Hello I’m here to ruin your life
Oh wait I’m always perfect
Lmao @ Tom
-Kristen Stewart (on the most profound thing a man has ever told her.)
I love this. I am absolutely that pathetic.
I really fucking hate it when guys act like marriage is literally the end of their lives like if it’s so fucking bad, and you hate it so much, don’t get fucking married and put your spouse through hell because you’re shit. If you feel trapped you’re doing it wrong.
Filed under: Sitcom Tropes That Need to Go Away Forever